INSPIRED WANDER

My dearest Mom, it seems unreal that you passed away eight years ago today. Time viewed through the lenses of love and grief is not linear. There are days it is impossible for me to believe that you are gone. Messages from you are still saved on my voicemail, and how I love to hear your sweet voice again. Then there are other times when it seems like a lifetime ago that you were battling cancer, a parallel universe. I often dream that you survived cancer and are still with us, and for a few moments in those dreams all seems right with the world, like reality was the bad dream. The details of that scary and heartbreaking two-year journey through cancer continue to soften with time. Now I choose to only think of good memories, and picture you surrounded by love and peace, sending it back to your family as a prism of sacred light.

A special experience recently reminded me just how close you and Dad still are. A dear friend and I decided that for a fun January outing, we would go have readings done by a very well-respected local psychic medium. It took months to get the bookings, and we had heard wonderful things about her by word of mouth. It would not be a stretch to say that I was a bit skeptical going in, but there was no expectation, it was just one part of a fun day with a wonderful friend. To say that it turned out to be an incredible experience would be an understatement. I won’t get into all of the details of my hour long reading but want to relate one lovely portion of it that has been on my mind a lot today.

I should start this story by making clear that the medium had absolutely no information about me prior to our meeting, not even my name. From the moment I got seated across from her, she began to tell me things about myself that were completely accurate, and many that no one else could have known about, in great detail. I immediately began to relax, and feel any trepidation slip away, somehow knowing that this would be a special moment outside of ordinary time, if I let it.

After a few minutes of preliminary chat, she said that there were two people standing behind me that were very excited to communicate with me. She then asked if my Mother and Father had crossed over. When I confirmed that they had, she told me it was them and physically described them perfectly. She said that they wanted me to know that they are together, and are always with us, watching over us. That they are so proud of their family and love us so much. She then asked me why my mom was showing her the image of a very tall extension ladder and asked if I had used one lately. The comment took me off guard, and it was a few minutes before I actually remembered that I had indeed used one at home about a month earlier.

While we were having repairs done to our chimney, a tall extension ladder had kindly been left for us to clean out the eavestroughs. When I had extended it and climbed the two stories to work on the gutters, I was overwhelmed by an uneasy feeling, which finally made me abandon the job about halfway thorough. The medium said that mom was showing her that something had been wrong with the ladder, that a clip that secured the extension portion of the ladder had not been properly in place. She said that Mom and Dad had each been holding a side of the ladder to keep it from falling the entire time I was on it and had been begging me to get off. No one could have known this, but as I was climbing down the ladder that day after feeling so uneasy, I did indeed notice that one of the two latches that secures the top half had not been clipped into place.

Regardless of my apprehension about this type of psychic reading, I cannot deny that the medium I had the pleasure of spending time with had a special gift, and stunned me with the clarity, accuracy and detail that she provided. Mom and Dad spent much time talking to me throughout the reading, about things only we knew. It remined me that our loved ones do not leave us, they only change form. Flesh and blood one moment, transformed into pure omnipresent love the next. I remember during Mom’s funeral, the Priest who has known our family since my childhood, said that Mom would be even closer to us now, capable of being everywhere at once. So true.

My beloved Mom, you always instilled a sense of faith and spirituality in us, and I know how much comfort it brough you during your illness. Today, I am remined of those many gifts you gave us, the greatest of which is your immense love for your family. It fills me with peace and happiness to know that no matter what happens in this crazy old world, you and Dad are still with us, just beyond the veil. I feel you both in the warmth of the sun, the gentle touch of a breeze, with a memory or a dream, and the beautiful ache that comes from missing you but knowing that we will be together again one day. Until then, you are our guardian angels, and I love you both beyond words.