INSPIRED WANDER

My dearest Mom, nine years ago today you transitioned from flesh and blood into pure light and love. A love that now surrounds your cherished family always, a light that still lingers in all of the places that you held close to your heart. You can still be found in bird song, the gentle touch of a summer breeze or a raindrop upon parched earth, dancing on the notes of a favorite piece of music, and in the twinkle of stars. I know now that your passing was not an ending, but the beginning of a magnificent journey home to be with the angels again, to become one of them.

Reflecting on your life, cancer, and passing – as I do every year at this time my precious Mom, the words that capture your path and essence best are love and beauty. At this current moment in history, when so much of the world seems to be desperately lacking in love, kindness, tolerance and light, I have turned inward more than ever to ponder what is truly important. It is love and beauty every time, those achingly magnificent lessons that I learned watching you walk into the sunset of your life with a bravery, love, strength and grace that I am still humbled by.

You loved with all of your heart, and because of that were surrounded by pure love as you left this word. All of your most precious people surrounded you, and I will never forget how completely at peace you were at the very end. The two years of chemo, surgeries, hospitals, pain and fear disappeared, and all that was left was pure love and light. As you slipped away from the physical word, you took our love with you, nothing else material mattered anymore. There was also a love that was pulling you towards it. Our dear Dad, your parents, brother, family and friends who were all waiting for you on the other side. I know that you could see them waiting as you were slipping away, a circle of pure love that bridged life and death, the only constant in both realms.

You also leave behind a beautiful legacy of love. I remember the times as a child when you built forts with me out of the sofa cushions, played with my toy cars, took us on picnics in the park or went for a walk after dinner hand in hand. You made every holiday and special occasion so magical. I always felt that you did these things because they brought you as much joy as me, that I was truly wanted, and our time together was a gift, not a responsibility or obligation. You never dialed it in, you always showed up for your family with all of your heart. You raised your children to be the best they possibly could and wouldn’t accept less. At the same time, you cared for Dad through an illness that lasted a decade, keeping him at home as long as you could. You also cherished time with your beautiful granddaughter, took care of your parents as they aged, and still managed to be there for anyone who needed you. Even when you were going through aggressive cancer treatments, you never complained. In fact, they would intentionally seat new chemo patients next to you because of your positivity. People say that you could light up a room just by being in it, so true. I can still see your warm smile and the light in your eyes, hear your laughter.

I want to thank you Mom, for showing me what true, selfless love is, and for wrapping us in it always. That is your legacy. I once heard someone say that heaven is being remembered well after you are gone, the mark you have left on the hearts of those you care about. You are truly in heaven Mom. After nine years, I still miss and think about you every single day. Anyone that I reminisce about you with miss you terribly too. Memories of our time together bring me so much happiness, and a profound peace comes from knowing that we will be together again one day. Until then, I will remember, admire and love you for the rest of my life. My broken heart began to mend the moment I realized that you are now both my beloved Mom and guardian angel. You haven’t left us, you changed forms and are now sowing the seeds of your love everywhere, in perfect peace.